New Year Thoughts
I posted this on Facebook on the first day of the new year after seeing so many people ruing a lack of change to various things in their lives.
“Hey, y’all. Food for thought, and my first insight for 2016. Please remember that one rough or bad day does not mean anything for the outlook of the year. Some people are ill, some people are dealing with issues that are now commonplace for them, some people have children that are not behaving for whatever reason, or whatever else is going on. IT IS OKAY. Change is not instantaneous when the clock strikes midnight. We are not Cinderella. Change will happen gradually. It is how you respond to whatever you are going through that will dictate how this year is going to be. So, love and positive thoughts. Remember that we can only live one day, one hour, one moment at a time.”
I know that 2015 was exceeding difficult for a lot of people. Now that we have had one solid week in 2016, I just wanted to share the above self-quote with everyone. We are only on the 8th day of the year. Only 1 week has passed. There will always be time to see change, even if it comes down to the last day of this year.
The human race moves all too quickly. We have lost the art of slowing down and enjoying ourselves. We have lost the ability to pause and apply objective thought. There is a profound lack of respect in much of the younger generations, and too many entitled thoughts and feelings in much of the world where there is any “civilized” way of life.
Take a deep breath and a look around you, then close your eyes and look inside yourself. Before you can think that any kind of change will take place in your life, you have to understand what needs to change in yourself. It could be that you just need to understand your mental or emotional state more thoroughly. It could be that you are quick to anger and need to reign in your temper. It could be that you take things as a personal affront when that was never the intention.
Do you hide in yourself, and not defend yourself? Do you live on the edges of your jealousy or envy of others? Do you covet what you don’t have? Are you always rushing, and at the end of the day feel drained and as if nothing was accomplished? Are you apathetic? Do you hide from other people in yourself so you don’t have to deal with drama?
Would you believe you are not alone?
I am not a counselor. I am just someone who listens. I am only one person learning myself, and I share with others when I am able to do so. I am part of an online support group to further that end. It helps me to help others, even if that help is minute.
So, 2016. Pause, if you have not already done so.
Take that breath and look inside yourself. Acknowledge your fears. Assess what you feel your shortcomings may be. Then, change tactics. Find what about you causes your smile. What activity do you engage in that makes you feel whole? You may be an avid house cleaner. You may enjoy creative outlets. You may enjoy 20 minutes of peace and solitude per day. You may cherish your prayer time. You may enjoy going out with friends one per week or month.
Take what you like, and use that when you feel like your world is turning upside down. Children driving you batty and significant other no help? Stop. Look in the mirror. Tell yourself, “I have got this.” Look into your own eyes. Feel your own breath moving in and out of your lungs. You are human. You have faults. But! You are you and you are strong!
Do not let any outside force strip you of your drive. If you find that it’s your own self pulling you down, figure out why. Maybe, you have someone who is a verbal or emotional bully in your life which causes you to self-doubt. It may be time to bid that person farewell. Maybe you feel disconnected. Engage with someone in real life if you can, or try having a meaningful conversation and connect with someone online. Not a random stranger. Reach out to a Facebook friend, an old classmate, someone from work, and really talk with them.
You may have days that feel perfect. You are bound to have days that make you question the validity of life. Just firmly remind yourself that you are human. You have strengths and weaknesses. You are your own individual, and no one can take that from you.
You may find the change you seek this month, halfway through the year, at the end of the year, or not at all this year. Perhaps, this year will be your stepping stone for things to come. You won’t know until you have lived and experienced each day. I wish you the best in doing so.
Personally, I have already experience loss via the support groups I am in for my husband’s cancer. Brave cancer warriors and become angels. They wanted to make it to the New Year and did but could not fight beyond that. For some, the fight is strong in them and their journey is arduous. I support them as much as I am able.
I am working on self-reflection weekly if not daily. My goal is to learn me even as I focus on my husband and support him through his life journey. I find that some days I do not have sufficient patience. I struggle with remaining calm and focused at home. To compensate, I enjoy my books and creative outlets, reminding myself to focus on life one day at a time. I know the struggle that it can be, so when I encourage others to do the same, I’m not just blathering.
I wish everyone well.
Please remember that you are allowed to step back and assess your life. Every day presents a new chance to strive for change if it is needed.